


I Don't Wanna Love Somebody Else

by orphan_account



Category: LeafyIsHere - Fandom, Youtube RPF, youtube - Fandom
Genre: Gen, I hate myself, This is trash, Voicemail, but here I am posting it, cause I love torturing myself, dont even read this I'm serious, fuck you I hope you like it cause I don't, i wrote this for fun and because I like the format, it makes me want to kms, literal garbage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-07
Packaged: 2018-08-29 15:38:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8495803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I hate myself





	

**Author's Note:**

> I hate myself

Please leave a message after the tone. 

Oh, I built a world around you  
Oh, you had me in a dream,  
I lived in every word you said

"I watched your phone ring in my hand. I know you aren't going to answer. It's a force of habit to call you. Sorry."

 

The stars had aligned  
I thought that I found you  
And I don't wanna love somebody else

"Here I go again. You know, your voicemail recording almost gave me the hope you were there. "

 

Oh, we left it all unspoken  
Oh, we buried it alive  
and now it's screaming in my head

"Screw it I don't care that you will never see this. I miss you. I wish I hadn't left you alone. I wish I could wake up with you beside me again, or stay up late talking while I'm just trying to edit. Probably the biggest thing that gave us away was my slower upload schedule. That, and you voice Femmy. That was probably a giant clue. We shouldn't have hid our relationship, it got you killed. I never actually thought something like that would happen. I keep- I keep wishing I could go back in time. I wish this was all a dream. It feels so weird to think that I will never see you again. Every time something creaks in this house, I hope it's you. Every time the phone rings, I desperately want it to be you on the other end. Maybe that's why I call you still, for the slight irrational hope you would pick up, even though your phone is always in my pocket."

Oh, I shouldn't go on hoping  
Oh, that you will change your mind  
and one day we could start again

"Hey, I'm calling about Calvin? You're his emergency contact and so I thought the safest bet was to call you. He's currently passed out on the couch. He drank way too much tonight, and someone stole his car. I found him laying down in a parking spot and got him to my place just around the corner from the bar. He threw up like three times already. He's safe now and sleeping. Also he got into my weed before passing out so yeah he's high as a kite. Normally I'd be pissed but I think he needed it more than I did. I get paid soon anyway so don't worry about it. Call me back when you can and I'll tell you how to get here."

Well I don't care if loneliness kills me  
I don't wanna love somebody else

"Is it bad that I got piss drunk just for the possibility of you getting pissed enough to haunt some sense into me? The getting high part was not part of the plan though, I don't even remember that. It felt like the funeral all over again when I had to explain why you didn't pick up. Also I left the guy what cash I had left, which was a lot. He'll find it next time he opens his silverware drawer. Man wouldn't take my money after what I put him through. He's coming over later this week to make sure I don't off myself. That sounds so weird to say so seriously. Whatever."

 

Oh, I thought that I could change you  
Oh, I thought that we would be the greatest story that I tell

"… I feel the need to tell your voicemail that I'm not drunk this time. Just tired and miserable... Remember when we met? I accidentally accepted your friend request and completely forgot about it till I had to ask who you were. I don't know why I kept talking to you after that, it just seemed right. You were so set on fixing my sleep schedule. It was annoying, but I remember as soon as you convinced me to call you, and as soon as I actually heard you speak, it was kind of cute instead of annoying. Then the time we actually met face to face, I already knew you were a scary kind of special to me. Soon I wasn't just seeing you on the way to other places, you were my destination. As soon as you got out of college I immediately asked you to stay with me. Remember, the most surprising part you said, was that I hadn't gotten bored of you. God damnit I miss you. 

I know that it's time to tell you it's over  
But I don't wanna love somebody else


End file.
